Did the Mayans Call the Zombie Apocalypse?


What happens in Florida… shocks the rest of the nation. There have been some high-profile news reports to come out of Florida in the past few months, but nothing as bizarre as this: someone literally had the flesh eaten off of their face by another human being. If you’ve ever wondered whether or not cannibals existed, here you go. In Miami, an individual by the name of Rudy Eugene was witnessed eating the flesh of Ronald Poppo, a local homeless fellow. There has been an article circulating, claiming that Eugene was infected with a certain virus that caused him to crave human flesh.

Now, before you go rent a copy of Nightmare on Elm Street to help jumpstart your preparation for the coming “Zombie Apocalypse,” know that the real reason for this strange episode was Eugene being under the influence of bath salts. Only a slight sigh of relief can be breathed, however. Even though the Zombie Apocalypse hasn’t dawned upon us yet, it is still concerning to see the type of crime that took place. It’s already stressing to have to worry about getting robbed in a 7-Eleven, or murdered by stray bullets, but to worry about having your face eaten off? I must admit that I am ill-equipped for that situation, and am at a certain level of risk of my face ending up like Freddy Krueger’s.

No matter what street you live on, this is the kind of story that will give you nightmares. It’s disturbing and borderline evil. However, when stories like this come out, make sure to do some behind the scenes research before you hit the panic button and your bookshelf rotates to reveal an underground entrance. No need to worry others with fake information, either. Keep in mind that some are easily swayed without confirming facts; this also saves your intellectual image. It is always good to be prepared for an imminent zombie apocalypse, but there is no need at the moment. I don’t discourage it, however; it never hurts to get a leg up, but always hurts to get it eaten off.